Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Tuesdays are a bitch, just ask Scooter

So I thought I would be able to get a post up sooner, but my responsibilities as an alternate juror in the Lewis "Scooter" Libby case precluded me from doing so. It seems the raucous group that dropped the hammer on the little patsy today wanted to enjoy a $2 well drink/buffalo wing special down the street from the courthouse at a Bennigan's in celebration. One thing led to another and I'm sitting here at the bar with my laptop blogging while drunk off my ass with Tucker Carlson trying to get me to go in on Jello-shots for some barely-legal Georgetown hotties who keep looking this way. Frankly, the man bugs the shit out of me with all his sordid tales of how he is now "swimmin' in ass" since his foray on Dancing with the Stars.

I know several of the Sunday morning pundits praised our jury for being "analytical" and "careful" in the pursuit of truth; but I'd like to see their faces when practically every one of the jurors either mooned or flipped the bird to Libby's armored SUV as he drove past us. I think Libby's crew were actually going to come in but then recognized this lynch mob and beat feet outta here.

In about 20 minutes we're leaving to go out to Greta Van Susteren's for cocktails and then over to the Sofitel Hotel for a victory party the Wilson's are throwing. The last time we were out at Gretta's she had Neil Cavuto in a cupid's outfit for a Valentine's Day/Birthday gag for Brit Hume. I frankly was astonished at how accommodating Cavuto was for this sort of thing but then someone who goes to the same gym as he told me that Cavuto thinks he's hung and hoped the cherub outfit would support that rumor. Judging how most of the ladies were extending their pinkies while drinking after he would walk by, I took that as a silent statement of contradiction. It was a hoot nonetheless.

But I digress, Scooter Libby took the fall today for his Dick as well as Karl Rove, who most likely will be knocking back Chardonnay and laughing atop his stack of vintage 1920's Negress porn that yet another political bullet has whizzed past his head.

Okay, it appears that the bus DailyKos chartered for us is here - if I remember half of what happens tonight or don't end up in a dress, I'll be shocked.


vanessa said...

That Libby juror asked the right question: where's Karl?


With apologies to Eminem...from Talkleft, LMAO.


Nancy said...

Hey Paul...
Get to work!!