Sunday, September 28, 2008

Sarah Palin:The avoidable gamble

"Life is full of unavoidable gambles - this surely was an avoidable gamble".

That quote was from one of our favorite men of letters: conservative columnist, George Will, summing up a conversation about Sarah Palin. The video clip is from "The Green Room" segment which follows the round table group after the taping of This Week with George Stephanopoulos. Quite a group was assembled this morning, George Will, Newt Gingrich, Steven Pearlstein and Robert Reich who all spoke to the bailout, the first debate and Palin. Watch it, it's worth seeing Gingrich pathetically defend Palin and then get laughed at. Is it me or is Gingrich looking more and more like Benny Hill these days?

And Speaking of Palin, we just launched The Sarah Palin Superstore complete with your favorite Cerebral Itch Sarah Palin e-card humor now plastered on t-shirts, mugs, etc. - get over there and buy something before that walking punchline is kicked off the ticket.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Craig Ferguson = Political Genius

And so, comedy continues to be the delivery method of this bitter tonic we call the 2008 Presidential campaign.


From Glenn Greenwald over at

But Sarah Palin's performance in the tiny vignettes of unscripted dialogue in which we've been allowed to see her has been nothing short of frightening -- really, as I said, pity-inducing. And I say that as someone who has thought from the start that the criticisms of her abilities -- as opposed to her ideology -- were much too extreme. One of two things is absolutely clear at this point: she is either (a) completely ignorant about the most basic political issues -- a vacant, ill-informed, incurious know-nothing, or (b) aggressively concealing her actual beliefs about these matters because she's petrified of deviating from the simple-minded campaign talking points she's been fed and/or because her actual beliefs are so politically unpalatable, even when taking into account the right-wing extremism that is permitted, even rewarded, in our mainstream. I'm not really sure which is worse, but it doesn't really matter, because with 40 days left before the election, both options are heinous.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Truth to Power:
Chris Rock offers some salient political observations

Unbelievably hilarious and spot on? Yes. Did he just scare the shit out of older white rural voters? Yes to that too.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Anyone want to take a crack at this logic?

Does anyone remember that this hack was run out on a rail by her board?!

San Diego's FOX 5 does Cerebral Itch

Well, someone felt sorry for us and put our story on the TV. The absolutely charming Nadine Toren from San Diego's FOX 5 took some time out of her busy morning to feature the Cerebral Itch political e-cards. Watch the piece, it's worth it just to hear someone call us "lovebirds".

Monday, September 15, 2008

NEW Political e-Cards

Here's just a couple of the new political e-cards we've added.

Did you really think we'd sit by and let this whole McCain/Palin thing go by without popping off?

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Just in case

Click here after you read this

Judge as you may

This balancing act treads at McCain's peril. The Cerebral Itch Scatch Pad encourages your comments.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Can I get a Halelujah for a pipeline!

Recent, pertinent and chilling.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Honky Tonk Hate Speak:
Sarah Palin addresses, scratch that, incites the Republican base

As Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin spoke in front of the massive half-ass Flickr slideshow that passes for the RNC's main stage backdrop, the blood must have ran cold for a great deal of Obama supporters.

Her telegenic lip-curling and nostril flaring, her developmentally disabled baby being passed from person to person like the prop from a bizarre nativity scene and the sarcastic venom that dripped from her impeccably glossed MILF lips left this blogger saying one thing, "Shit, the disenfranchised right-wing evangelicals have their Obama now." It was like the denouement from the plot of some sci-fi superhero movie where the hero must face down the bigger, meaner and stronger adversary in order to save the day. Palin is that adversary now.

When you can sell lines like, "My fellow citizens, the American presidency is not supposed to be a journey of "personal discovery" and not get laughed out of the room when you yourself have a questionable resume for the job you're applying for and a passport that is brand new is downright admirable.

One can only hope that she was queen for a day. That this was her zenith and election day will be her nadir. But it doesn't look like that. The pundits were stunned, charmed in fact. The conservative press hoisted her on their shoulders and the liberal press gave credit where credit was due. She will soldier on adding culture to the list that contains Afghanistan and Iraq as one more battleground. She will embrace her inner "pit bull", "barracuda" or what ever carnivorous appellation the right will brand her with. Her knocked-up kid will become the symbol of parental tolerance and unconditional love instead of a pox on her parenting skills for not embracing birth control the way the parent of a teenage girl living in a place where humping and binge drinking are the official sports during the cold months should. And thanks to the vulgar display of her new baby, any couple who wrestled with the decision of bringing a Downs baby into this world and made the opposite decision the Palins did will now be considered of something tantamount to eugenics.

Let's be honest. She backed Ted Stevens, her hubby (who by the way, if anything good comes of this, it's that man gets a tailor) belongs to a state succession group, she possesses the geopolitical knowledge-base of a third-rate Jeopardy applicant, she abused her executive power and attempts to ban library books that offend her Christian sensibilities. But man, can that broad gin up the base and look good doing it. She is the personification of the most obscene political calculus ever conceived. Hat's off to the guys in the back room that cooked this one up and hat's off to Palin for pulling it off.

As of tonight, McCain should just relent and slide to the back of the ticket and let her have the top job. He'd have a better shot at the White House that way.

Uh, is this mic on?

The Chuck held court today for a gorgeous blooper and fed the beast with some innocent post-interview questioning that caused former McCain 2000 campaign manager and Republican strategist, Mike Murphy and Wall Street Journal columnist, Peggy Noonan to voice their genuine opinions about Sarah Palin and the new Republican gameplan while their microphones were mistakenly still hot.

Just the fact that the acclaimed wordsmith and doyenne of diction, Peggy Noonan uses the word "bullshit" makes this a classic and perhaps the greatest soundbite for a dance mashup since the Barbra Streisand classic. The surrounding content of her profanity is in direct contradiction to her column in the Wall Street Journal this morning which heaped praise on the "transformative" figure that is Palin. It brings this to a level of irony that is to be relished by all political junkies and anyone who gives a less than Christian gesture to the screen when Noonan comes on.

UPDATE: Noonan's column is now complete with a mea culpa posited as her "mugging" by the media. She also proclaimed regret for "blurting" a "barnyard epithet". Sorry honey, when you say "excuse me" before you let loose with your potty word, you ain't blurtin' a thing - that's premeditated cussin'.