Thursday, March 08, 2007

The War on Leftist Depraved Shadow Puppetry continues...

Quick! Who won the SuperBowl this year?! Yeah, that's what I thought. Quick! Who freakin' nailed it at half-time with a righteous piece of entertainment that set the house on fire and almost made all of us forget past Aerosmith, Britney and Josh Groban Gong Show-worthy performances? You know it: Prince.

So why am I bringing up a fact that is now over a month old? Well it seems that a disturbingly large number of mothers and fathers in the hinterland saw something dirty in Prince's guitar solo behind a rain-soaked sheet. So dirty in fact, that they're lodging complaints with the FCC. I can understand they're sadness and ire. One, it was Prince performing, so naturally it's going to be free from any sexual overtones or innuendo. Two, Prince broke new ground that night by being the first man ever to connect the dots between the apparent phallic symbolism of a guitar and where it resides on one's body while being played. And lastly, why can't CBS just stick to showing wholesome entertainment consisting of large men crippling each other in gladitorial splendor and programming that brings us all together like family-favorites, CSI(s) and Two and a Half Men with that precocious Christian scamp, Charlie Sheen?

The complaints of this concerned citizenry contain eloquence and a call to arms we should all heed:

(FCC) Complaint Summary:
II was obscene to show Prince, A HOMOSEXUAL person through a sheet. as to show his siluelte while his guitar showed a very phalic symbol coming from his below his midriff section, I am very offended and I would preffer not to have showed it to my 4 children who love football. One of them has hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay. I am actually considering to check him for HIV.' Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY.
and this fiery polemic:
During Prince's rendition of Purple Rain…there seemed to be a shadow puppet of his (penis), The sheet that was the backdrop seemed to be (stained?) with something (semen?) My children were watching and now I have to explain to them what a wet spot is on a c*m covered sheet
Thanks CBS.
Join these people in their rage, stand behind them in support of saving their children; but just don't call them during Are you smarter than a 5th grader?.

1 comment:

kerry said...

oh man, the scary part is that these people vote. and breed!