Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Well, there was this one that said "unleash your true sexual being". I'm thinking "what the hell - The wife's got a cold, it's Saturday night, I'll double down on that" and bingo! I hit the comedy jackpot.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
As far as I'm concerned Facebook lost it's cool quotient a while back. But when Bruegger's Bagels can score 3,321 fans on their page complete with happy wall posts ("Rosemary & Olive Oil Bagels are the best!) by providing no redeeming content, it officially becomes reason 437,863 on why Facebook should be put down. Porn Star Facebook pages? sure. Politics? of course. I'll even tip my hat to some lame Twilight fan page; but goddamn bagels? That's just sick.
The only thing that brings me off the ledge is that there is a Facebook-killer out there somewhere on some geek's staging server ready to be funded or found that will go nova and kill everyone's favorite blue-hued time suck; and with it, goes Bruegger's...justice
Sunday, September 06, 2009
After the shallow and obvious comedy of the scene abated, the image of the boy stayed with me. I immediately saw him as a phenomenally accurate metaphor for our country right at this moment: Pubescent, fat, generally not that swift and shrouded in the flag in order to cover up shortcomings.
Tell me I'm wrong.
Friday, September 04, 2009
So many problems, so many fires to extinguish. I thought surely this will be daunting but well within the wheelhouse of Obama, Axelrod, Plouffe, Emanuel and Biden. They beat back Hillary and the GOP for God sake. But instead, seven months later...you golf.
Your policies are half-measures and compromises. Nothing smacks of a moon shot or cancer cure. I was ready to match my grandparents and give up silk stockings and steak for the cause. I was ready to do whatever was necessary to foment the lightning in a bottle of a senate majority and political capital not seen since FDR's third term. But yet, you flitter it away.
Ironically, your team branded politics. You made it fashionable. Most people bought posters and t-shirts of you not out of ideology, but a desire to be cool. You beat the Limbaughs, Becks and Bachmans back into the shadows and lighted the way for the secular and educated. But now, people either fall asleep or brandish weapons at anachronistic town hall meetings.
You disappoint me Mr. President.
Quit smiling. quit waving, quit golfing and quit looking like you're having so much goddamn fun being the President. Start continually reminding the obtuse Republicans literally who's boss. Tell Pelosi and that cadaver Reid to get in line or get the hell out of the way. Give us something bold. Cash for Clunkers is not a legacy. One term is a stigma and organic gardens are punchlines.
Quite frankly sir, we weren't hoping for this.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
If any of you think you're funny, watch this and realize just how far you have to go up the funny ladder to get close to the pinnacle of hilarity this Starburst commercial achieves.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Despite their characters coming from profoundly differently genres, the two most unforgettable performances from this summer's crop of movies did have two things in common: hideous appendages and jaw-dropping talent.
Mr. Leslie Chow (The Hangover)
His name is Sharlto Copely. Remember it, because you will see it at Oscar time as a nominee for best actor. District 9 is probably one of the best science fiction movies since Alien because it is so much more than science fiction. It has allegories befitting Shakespeare and filmmaking that deftly jetés between documentary style and back behind the fourth wall all while you have this man delivering nothing but complex performances that range from bumbling incompetence to heroic pathos. The entertainment press states he has no acting experience whatsoever, which must really piss off those who do knowing they could never come close to the job this guy did.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
I think I may bookmark Bing.
Friday, August 28, 2009
There's 18 of'em and frankly, they're some of our best.
If you've ever been to Vegas, planning a trip to Vegas or been arrested there, then these e-cards are for you. And unlike the notorious marketing chestnut, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". We would very much like for these e-cards to leave Vegas and be shared en masse; sort of like compromising photographs and chlamydia. You can find them here.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
|The Daily Show With Jon Stewart||Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c|
|Exclusive - Betsy McCaughey Extended Interview Pt. 1|
Watch the above and read this. Then thank god for Jon Stewart sticking it to the small-brained obfuscators when no one else in front of a camera will.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 08, 2009
That's right people! We have officially joined the big leagues and went and built ourselves an iPhone app loaded with our e-cards. It was officially approved by Apple last Friday and it is now for sale on iTunes.
As we said, this is the first of many more apps to come out of our new division, Powered by Cerebral Itch. Later this month an uncensored version complete with everyone's favorite saucy cards will be for sale. Side note: Apple sh*tcanned that version last month so we went back to the drawing board, stripped the app of all things we felt the corporate tight-asses would deem offensive and created "kleen-cards - the sanitized version"; apparently it worked.
So here are the details:
Saturday, June 06, 2009
I suppose apologies are in order.
Just like all stories of infidelity, they must begin with a chance meeting that accelerates into a torrid pleasure-fest where both parties ego's are being fed by paper-thin affections and co-dependence. And that was essentially us with the whole "Viva Chuck Todd" and "Viva Rachel Maddow" thing. If you have no idea what we're talking about, consider yourself lucky. For the lucky ones, we'll recap: Last year during the heat of the historic and wacky election season we thought it would be funny to start up a fansite for the doughy and intellectually alluring NBC Political Director, Chuck Todd. Well, somewhere around Memorial Day weekend 2008, MSNBC's morning show, Morning Joe picked us up and plastered the damn site all over the TV = massive traffic. Then Tim Russert died and because Chuck Todd was his Padawan, we got shit-hammered again on the traffic. Anyway, to make a long story short, we thought we'd hit a gravy train and could ride this sucker for all it was worth through election day and come out the other end lightin' cigars with $100 bills. We even went to Denver for the Democratic National Convention to meet these peeps and started a goddamn Chuck Todd fan club on our own dime.
Boy, is my ass sore.
Nothing came of our efforts (blogs, merchandise, e-cards, etc.) and at the end of the day we were maintaining three blogs while trying to get Cerebral Itch to turn a profit. Talk about taking your eye off the ball.
So here's the deal: No more Chuck Todd, no more Rachel Maddow, No more MSNBC. We're all about Cerebral Itch, riffing on pop culture and trying to get Veejay laid.
So with that said, we're sorry and we're back.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Far be it from us to not capitalize on a global event. Hell, if we had a card we could connect with Susan Boyle and make a sale, we'd do it in a hot second. Seriously though, this is one of our most popular cards and now thanks to the ruthless efficiency of opportunistic viruses leaping species, this card is now on sale for a buck.
Okay, that's it for tonight. We have to pack for an early morning plane flight to Oaxaca. You would not believe the sweet deal we got.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
April 8: According to a new Newsweek poll, 62 percent of Americans consider the U.S. a Christian nation down from the 69 percent at the end of former President George Bush's presidency last year. Another 68 percent say religion is losing its influence on American life. Family Research Council's Ken Blackwell and Vanity Fair's Christopher Hitchens discuss.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
World Builder from Bruce Branit on Vimeo.
For those of you that fear that creativity is imperiled by the mediums that dominate today, watch this amazing short film and take heart that a new age of enlightenment may find us thanks to the "palettes and chisels" from our wonderful machines of silicon.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
On a recent episode of Wine Library TV, Gary Vaynerchuk offhandedly coined the term "Wine Nerd Nation". It doesn't take a genius nor a devotee of Vaynerchuk's online marketing hustle to realize that that's a kickass domain. So...we bought it! Ha! We win. And, we pointed it to our hilarious Cerebral Itch wine labels.
That my friends, is "Smurfing" it up and "doing damage" between 7 and 2.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Saturday, January 31, 2009
In honor of romance in a crappy economy, we went and dropped the price of our Valentine's Day greeting cards and wine labels to $2.95 each (down from tree fiddy). There's stuff for lovers, for singles and downright bitter people who think this holiday is a joke (and those are the ones that get invited to Cerebral Itch functions).
And we know we've said this before, but if this isn't some of the best schwag we've ever created then we just aren't the sexy funny mofos we think we are.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Samuel Johnson (1709–84)
You claim that history will judge you in a fairer light. With that said, I promise you Mr. President that I will remind my children, and my children's children that I survived the worst president in our country's history. Which I might add, was no small feat with you at the helm.
Go away and prepare to be haunted by the ghosts you made.
Friday, January 16, 2009
I apologize in advance to those who might be offended by the following - technically known as "those who have a stick up their ass"
Don't feel bad if at the end of this video (granted, if you can see through your tears of laughter) you covet a balloon animal's life.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
May we all raise a glass to the best Star Trek villain ever, the consummate island host and the smoothest Latino leading man of the past century. Vaya con dios Ricardo, vaya con dios.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
And yet again, we're referred to as "snarky".
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
Those hilarious bastards over at The Onion humble me.