Yea! Congress breaks their first national record! Way to go boys and girls!

There are currently 535 people who work for you and me that are getting paid somewhere between $165K and $212K to apparently be complete f*ck ups and let me tell you, judging from their accomplishments so far, they're doing a bang-up job.

According to the latest Gallup Poll, Congress got an approval rating of 14%, the lowest since this poll was started in 1973. Now this wouldn't be especially galling considering that most politicians are pandering ass clowns with re-election and free golf on their minds, but there happens to be a two theater war going on right now while with the rest of the world is amassing outside our palace window with torches and pitchforks. Add to that a planet that's getting pretty sick and tired of us and our toys as well as a national populace that is becoming dumber, fatter and just learned, shorter which is believed to be from poor child healthcare and nutrition (yeah, the Netherlands has the tallest population now, we held it for 200 years prior - The Netherlands people! cmon!).

So what to do about Harry and Nancy, Trent and John, and the rest of their myopic sequestered flock? Well, how about we cut to the chase and send them a little note? Click on this link to find your representative and copy and paste the following (feel free to embellish):

Hi (their name here),

It occurred to me in light of your 14% approval rating that if you worked for me in the real world I would have to call you into my office, fire you and probably dock your severance pay for damages done while in my employ.

You're a failure mathematically and politically. I know most of your 20-something suck-up aides would never breathe such heresy; but that's pretty much the truth. You've let people die, species disappear and a whole host of other things go to hell in a hand basket on your watch so far. Look, I don't want to bum out your busy mahogony and velvet appointed day, but for the sake of all that is still living pull your head out, grow some balls and act like a pissed-off American that cares about generations and not election cycles.

You're actually in a great position, you can't do worse. We already despise you and plan to vote you out of office anyway. So impress us, because it won't take much at this point.

Regards,

Your boss