Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Now that's accountability - Chinese Style

Many of you have heard about our dear friend and benevolent trading partner China making toys for Mattel with the added bonus of yummy lead paint flavoring and intestinal scrambling chiclet-sized magnets. But did you know about their fantastic rewards program for executives?

Well, it seems that the Chinese Santa's workshop from hell, Lee Der was ordered by the Chinese government to cease all manufacturing, causing a total loss to the company of around $30 million. Completely understandable considering the shame brought to the image of efficient inexpensive Chinese manufacturing and the rumor that China had in fact hired Michael Brown as their trade safety minister. But where this little story really goes off the rails is how the Lee Der factory manager, Zhang Shuhong, handled his on-the-job performance: he hanged himself in a warehouse - perhaps a little rash from an HR standpoint.

Obviously the Chinese have a lot to learn from us. For instance, in 1993 Jack in the Box killed four kids and made hundreds of people throughout the western United States sick as hell via e.coli contamination. None of the executives lost their jobs and the combination of nimble P.R. and a quick settlement of around $16 million with the promise that they'll do the patties well-done let everyone get on with their business. Tidy.

And look at our rotund gelatinous friend Karl Rove: divided a country with pernicious political strategies, decimated a political party to the point where presidential candidates avoid him at functions and was more than complicit in selling an expensive little dust-up in Iraq that has hurt a few people. I guess the point is, it's a good thing Karl or even a lot of his office buddies for that matter don't live in China considering the shame that they've brought this country; poor Zhang certainly wouldn't have been swinging in that warehouse alone. But thank goodness Karl lives in the U.S. so he can go on to make millions of dollars instead telling his side of the story. Tidy.

Oh why focus on the negative, he did help Mrs. Wilson get an early retirement from the CIA and that was awfully nice of him.

1 comment:

Sharon said...

"rotund gelatinous friend Karl Rove" In case no one has told you today, you are a gifted little wordsmith.