Ah, the magic that is LinkedIn

You got your YouTube, porn, breaking news, sports scores while on the can, chat and the like. The Web today kicks ass; that is until the pox known as LinkedIn got pooped on the collective floor of the Internet. For those of you that don't know what LinkedIn is, it essentially is a glorified web-based rolodex that reduces anyone with an account into a 7-year old socially retarded stamp collector.

Here's how it works: You build your account, put in where you've worked, and their database begins to notify you of work associates - past and present, you then can send them all a mass invitation to join your personal network, possibly enabling you to be a better networked individual who now has an easy communication channel with your peers. Slick, huh? Well, it seems that this service has metastasized into a game of dick swords where people are judged (even in job interviews) by the number of contacts in their network. So now you got jagoffs you barely knew in that company you worked at years ago, "inviting" you to join their network just to beef up their number. And when I say "inviting" I equate it to Jehovah Witnesses knocking on your door on a Saturday morning; just as annoying and just as helpful to your career.

Granted, it's a silent email that you don't have to respond to from someone you haven't laid eyes on since the Clinton Administration, but come on, what makes someone think I'm going to vouch for them or be a part of their "network" when they can't even pick up the phone or send me a real goddamn email?

So think twice people before you fire off an invitation to that person you saw walk past your cubicle twice in 1999. They might have an angry little blog and an overly developed penchant for social graces.