Tuesday, July 24, 2007

If CNN could blow itself, they would never get anything done

As most readers of the Cerebral Itch Scratch Pad know, we enjoy covering the presidential debates and giving our special take on the pageantry and, um, oh hell, bullshit shot out of cannons otherwise known as the candidates mouths. But the bullshit cannons that shot the farthest and loudest belonged to debate co-host CNN.

CNN teamed up with YouTube to bring an "edgy" and "youthful" vibe to the debate format by interlacing Anderson Cooper's pathetic moderation, which frankly reminded all who were watching that he was once indeed the host of the ABC reality-show, The Mole, with YouTube videos made by "normal" people. Cue the webcam wingnuts: Snowmen, Lesbians, Rednecks, Church Pastors and the like. It was entertaining and for the most part embarrassing. Side note: CNN has essentially created a new Internet to support their marketing juggernaut promoting this union, check out YouTube's front page and see if you can find their cross-promotion. They look like the guy that got drunk and slept with the easy homely chick and really isn't too proud of it.

CNN promoted this thing like they were channeling souls of dead presidents. "Never been done before", "groundbreaking" and "history-making" were just a few of the hyperbolic ejaculations this husk of a news channel used. Every single one of their commentators and anchors trotted this thing out like some pathetic middle-aged guy who just bought his first Corvette and was repeatedly cruising it by the high school cheerleading practice. So proud were they that they had finally aligned themselves with something somewhat hip that they managed to do something truly "groundbreaking", they actually upstaged the candidate's bombast with their own.

So what happened in the debate? Obama pissed off Clinton, Clinton pissed off Obama, Mike Gravel wanted to pick a fight with all of them and the rest just held up their podiums and tried not to nervously fart on live TV.

1 comment:

Sharon said...

Once again, I thank you for spending your precious time watching this drivel and reporting back to the rest of us (who can’t be bothered) the pithy cliff notes. BTW, ‘hyperbolic ejaculations’......brilliant!