Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Scott McClellan: Stuttering Endomorph and Passive-Aggressive Whistle Blower

The smart money would definitely not have been on former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan to grow a set of balls and come back swinging like the fat kid on the playground who was tired of being bullied. But when you examine it in that context, it kind of makes sense.

From day one, McClellan was never taken seriously. He was derided, bludgeoned and ridiculed for being far from photogenic and articulate. Ari Fleischer was a tough act to follow. Fleischer delivered the lies with a stern fluidity and authority the president lacked. Plus, he looked like a guy that knew his shit and could probably hold his own in the parking lot if provoked. McClellan alas, was the spherical rube who always got picked last for recess t-ball. It's no wonder they followed him up with the arrogant water-carrying polished media-whore and WASP, Tony Snow.

So when no one was looking, little Scotty penned a book and apparently he could've saved himself a lot of time if he had skipped the other 379 pages and just written the one with the following passage:

"The most powerful leader in the world had called upon me to speak on his behalf and help restore credibility he lost amid the failure to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. So I stood at the White house briefing room podium in front of the glare of the klieg lights for the better part of two weeks and publicly exonerated two of the senior-most aides in the White House: Karl Rove and Scooter Libby. There was one problem. It was not true. I had unknowingly passed along false information. And five of the highest ranking officials in the administration "were involved in my doing so: Rove, Libby, the vice President, the President's chief of staff, and the president himself." From his book, What Happened, which is to be published next April by Public Affairs.

Paging Patrick Fitzgerald, paging Patrick Fitgerald...

Former White House Counsel, John Dean squealed on Nixon during Watergate confirming a cancer was indeed upon the White House; the parallels are being drawn today with McClellan and his little bombshell. The only variable in all of this is Congress. Could this confused cluster of cowards finally have the cudgel to bring this band of thugs to justice? Hey, if McClellan could grow some, maybe the Congress can too? Yeah, I know. Not where the smart money is.


nunya said...

"I had unknowingly passed along false information."

Mmmm. Scottiebot wants people to believe this?

bwwwaaa haa haa haaa

Anonymous said...

that Dr Evil McClellan pic is perfect! i laughed my ass off at this post!