Tuesday, October 16, 2007

UPS=Useless Pinhead Sketcher

Last night while the Cerebral Itch editorial department was at the local sports bar watching the Falcons get some jail house love courtesy of Eli Manning, we were repeatedly assaulted by one asinine commercial in particular: UPS and their whiteboard douchebag.

At least two TVs were smashed in by shot glasses and beer bottles when this chestnut came on for the oh, 76th time. Who the hell wants to see a commercial with a spokesperson emulating the one smug Dockers-clad asshole in the office no one likes? We all have one - The "jump up and assault the Expo® dry erase board mulit-colored pen set with giddy aplomb" idiot who then proceeds to draw on the board with great conviction as if he is conveying the AIDS vaccine all while everyone else thinks he's actually less qualified for his job than originally thought.

What is most shocking about this commercial is that it was conceived by the folks over at The Martin Agency. They're the group who are responsible for the classic Geico commercials using celebrity relics (i.e. Burt Bacharach, Peter Graves and the like) telling actual policy holder's stories. Now that stuff actually worked. This dreck was most likely pitched to UPS marketing pinheads who think they're great managers/collaborators all because the secret to team communication lies in the magic that is the dry erase board.

All this makes us happier than ever that Cerebral Itch uses FedEx Ground for all our shipping needs.

1 comment:

kerry said...

ups = shit brown for a reason. I have reserves of hate for them that are almost unknown in the package delivery mail. In as far as I can tell, the lower down the totem pole you get, the harder they work NOT to get you your package.

The most recent incident: they wouldn't give me my BIRTHDAY CAKE. The driver refused to leave the package on my steps(despite the order from sender to leave on steps without signature), because he didn't like the look of my neighborhood, and sadly I was working on my birthday so was unable to rush home and meet him.

Useless bastards.