Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Hello FCC? Have I got a complaint for you:
Man Boobs

So one of the things we have got to change this year here at the Cerebral Itch offices is the old piece of crap Zenith console TV in the lunchroom. It's heavier than a dwarf star and the channel knob is busted off requiring needle-nose pliers to change the channel. It looks like intern Silvio lost the pliers again (probably used in yet another speaker fuse change for his pimped out '94 Toyota Corolla) which left those of us on the late shift stuck watching what was ever on the last channel viewed that day; and that would've been NBC. Leaving us helpless during dinner having to watch the always entertaining social train-wreck, The Biggest Loser or as we like to call it, "Fat People Crying".

None of us are regular viewers of this slick carnival sideshow, so around 9:45 our take-out Thai left our bodies through the same hole it entered due to a virtual parade of extremely large Man Boobs.

According to the Federal Communications Commission obscene material is not protected by the First Amendment to the Constitution and cannot be broadcast at any time. The Supreme Court has established that, to be obscene, material must meet a three-pronged test:

1.)An average person, applying contemporary community standards, must find that the material, as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest
Bingo - score one there. You have to be one sick mother to find big boy boobies hot

2.)The material must depict or describe, in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct specifically defined by applicable law; and
Call me loopy, but I find a grown man's three-foot long droopy bosom patently offensive

3.)The material, taken as a whole, must lack serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value
Unless it's on the Discovery Channel on a Saturday night documentary about a pre-op transsexual on hormones (which is always fine entertainment after two bottles of cheap Shiraz) it's lacking all four.

So there you go, flunks all requirements by the FCC as far as we're concerned. Our letters are going out first thing tomorrow morning.

Never let it be said that this blog doesn't hit all the important issues

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Damn you! Now I am hooked on the show.

The Commodore