Fantasy Obit: Jon Gosselin

I mean really, now that he's hosted a Vegas pool party and given his eight kids a legacy to be ashamed of, what else does this doughy putz have to live for.

Fantasy Obit: Naomi Campbell

She's spitting on police now - literally! The long in the tooth and short on the temper has-been supermodel spit on a cop at London's Heathrow airport in yet another altercation. If she was a guy, somebody would have soundly and justifiably kicked her skinny ass by now and if she was a dog, they would have...well, you get my drift.

Fantasy Obit: John Gibson

Every so often stupidity marries evil and the results are broadcast for all to see or hear. John Gibson, co-host of the Big Story on Fox News is a product of such a union. This moronic piece of filth let loose on his radio show Monday night hours after Heath Ledger was found dead, with a show opening that included the funeral march being played as well as Ledger's oft-heard Brokeback Mountain line "I wish I knew how to quit ya'". To which Gibson followed, “Well, he found out how to quit you.” Gibson continued in his show to make unfounded accusations about Ledger concerning drug use and suicide. If you care to soil your eyeballs with more of this ugly douchebag's vitriol click here to see how he embraces minorities.

Fantasy Obit: Ted Nugent

As if this crazy-ass right-wing extremist hillbilly was ever worth the calories necessary to remember his name, he did make the collective radar recently with an amazingly vulgar and dangerous on-stage first amendment bludgeoning rant aimed at the two top democratic presidential candidates as seen here:

Frightening Ted Nugent/George Bush Fun Fact:
"Nugent lives near President George W. Bush's ranch in Crawford, Texas, and said he caught Bush's attention at his private inauguration party in 2000. "When he noticed me, he was surrounded by these huge bankrollers from his campaign. He literally swept past all of them and said, 'Laura! Look who's here! It's Ted!' Then he hugged me and took me by the shoulders. He said, 'Just keep doing what you're doing. Don't think that we don't know what you're up to out here. Stay on course." - "Ted Nugent: Off his rocker?", The Independent, 28 May 2006

Fantasy Obit: Michael Vick

This waste of space needs to be put down.

As if the world isn't filled with enough blatant disregard for life, this functionally illiterate monster made a lucrative little hobby out of it. Recently indicted for running a dogfighting operation, Michael Vick will see the inside of a courtroom and will probably get a fine that will dent his bank account to the extent where he won't be able to get new rims for six Escalades; but the secondary accessory to the crime is the NFL.

If this guy shows up on the Falcon's roster this coming season, there will be hell to pay. Follow this link to send a letter to the NFL telling them to suspend Vick. Double your wrath and visit the Humane Society web page dedicated to this issue and join their denouncement of the NFL for not suspending this criminal immediately.

NEW FEATURE - Fantasy Obit

Is it really too much to ask for at this point?