Ladies and Gentlemen, the Paula Abdul we know and love - Welcome Back!

The batshit loopy PR nightmare that was the Paula Abdul of last season appeared to have been a victim of a summer rendition who was spirited away somewhere never to be heard from again. The new Paula had come into this season of American Idol shockingly lucid and dare I say, competent. Hell, she even pooped out a pablum dance number with pop associate Randy Jackson. Well, someone left the gate open, because the boozin', Xanax poppin, word-slurrin' sloppy cougar is back and American Idol just got interesting again.

In short, last night's show had each contestant perform two Neil Diamond songs (yes, viewers were subjected to 10 Neil Diamond songs in total). At the halfway mark, the judges gave their appraisals (even though stick-boy Seacrest stated earlier that they were going to give their comments after they performed all the songs...whatever). Anyway, when the camera got to Paula she shuffled her notes like a crazy lady at the market trying to find a cat food coupon and proceeded to give one contestant first song and second song critiques (even though he had yet to perform the second song) while everyone looked on aghast, embarrassed and amused. Randy and Simon tried to help her out to no avail; she just kept digging and looking like a 107 year-old woman at her own birthday party.

Simply put, if Paula's drinking again, I'm watching again!