Lucky they have back legs or Richard Gere might've partied with them: Legless Chihuahuas

See, this is what happens when you cross chihuahuas with Tyrannosaurus Rex DNA; you get that little front arms thing.

Actually, what really happened was that some asshat with a penchant for breeding chihuahuas kept using the same breeding stock and eventually inbred a litter with tres perritos sin piernas . Now I will smile a huge smile when they incarcerate this sub-human for creating these hoppity habeneros. In a perfect world justice would be meted commensurate with a Dr. Mengele dog breeder: Strip'em, tie'em down and find the horniest Bull Mastiff in town.

But let's be honest here, these poquito pogo-sticks are going the be on the Tonight Show in two-years wearing tutus and dancing around better than Heather Mills on a good night. They might as well poop pesos. Who can forget picking their jaw up off the ground the first time they saw Faith, the biped dog. Now that I mention it, I gotta go make some calls.

(Cerebral Itch would like to profusely apologize for the senseless use of alliteration in this piece. It's Monday and we have no other way of amusing ourselves - except of course watching videos of biped bunuelos -
damn it! I can't stop)

It's why we go to air shows and NASCAR races

It was the first time in human history when the term "Get the f*ck out of here!?" was uttered by over 4 billion people. Never before had incredulity united the world. All as a result of the announcement last year that Heather Mills, former wife of Paul McCartney, professional soft-core porn gold digger and uni-ped was going to compete in Dancing with the Stars.

Last night Heather and her partner Jonathan Roberts danced and I am, um, pleased to report, her prosthetic leg did not pop off. A YouTube spokesperson issued a statement this morning announcing it has brought online six additional video petabyte servers to handle the massive load of visitors anticipated when her leg does in fact, pop off on national television.

Stay tuned.