America, you scare me

The Nielsen ratings often turn out to be the best indicator of a society's general mental health. The latest top 10 ratings list show that the majority of the TV watching public are infatuated with crime, sports and people making complete asses of themselves. The breakdown is something like this: Five shows about unsolved murders, one piece of poo masquerading as a comedy complete with formulaic precocious fat kid and ex-boozer sex addict brat packer, of course a sporting event and the number one show features David Hasselhoff and Jerry Springer.

Happy Monday, I'll meet you at the bar.

Happy Father's Day indeed

Alec Baldwin can thank his lucky stars he didn't get Hasselhoff's ex-wife and daughter. Apparently the old family intervention video inexplicably found it's way to the den of whores known as Entertainment Tonight. Theories are that the ex-wife is playing some major-league hardball on the custody front or his kid was looking for some extra shopping money. We're placing bets on the shopping money angle.
Taylor - Hasslehoff's Kid: "Hey dad, you're fresh off a divorce, fighting alcohol addiction and doing the Vegas knock-off of the Producers; smile for the camera while you're impersonating a skid-row wino."

Taylor puts down the video camera and picks up cell phone

Taylor - Hasslehoff's Kid: "Hi Entertainment Tonight, have I got some footage for you!"

Cerebral Itch Scratch Pad Exclusive
Thanks to the intrepid Cerebral Itch Scratch Pad reporter, Commodore Jukebox, we have received exclusive video from an earlier Hasselhoff bender.